CarAli

1 year ago | Tags: apartment funtivities for the lulz nerdage gymmin it up double entendre | Notes: 3

Ali: I'm gonna go [to the gym] again. Wanna join?
Caroline: I can't. I'm definitely getting sick, and I have to make a movie.
Ali: A movie!? Can I be in it?
Caroline: It's not that kind of movie.
Ali: Sounds dirty. Wait, what?
Caroline: Are you a simulated silicone indenter going into a crystalline-thin film? Because if so, I'd like to make a movie of your bonds breaking.

Chai tea and whatnot

1 year ago | Tags: food for thought she's really an Englishman tired students are tired | Notes: 2

1 year ago | Tags: watching movies all day TBS announcers be trippin apartment funtivities | Notes: 1

Announcer: He's the only man in the world who knows what women want. And now, What Women Want.
Caroline: Wow, nice segue!

2 years ago | Tags: bodily functions apartment funtivities | Notes: 1

Ali: *leaning on Caroline's back* HAHAHAHA!
Caroline: What?
Ali: I heard your body working! Those were your kidneys, you might have to go to the bathroom soon.
Caroline: How do you know those were my kidneys?
Ali: They're the only things back there!
Caroline: What, whoa, that's so cool! Can I listen to your kidneys?

2 years ago | Tags: double entendre iPhone food for thought male organ innuendos for the lulz | Notes: 2

2 years ago | Tags: captain obviouses cell phone mayhem | Notes: 1

Caroline: Hey, can you call my phone please?
Ali: Sure.
Caroline: I feel like it's in a really obvious location.
Ali: Ha, at first I thought you were gonna say "awkward". I was gonna be like, "I don't know what you mean by that." *calls Caroline's number*
Caroline: Is it ringing?
Ali: Yup.
Caroline: ... Just hang up please. *embarrassed smile*
Ali: Why...? *sees Caroline reach for her back pocket* OHHH.

2 years ago | Tags: questioning life guy life food for thought

Caroline: He looks like a cartoon character. And when I saw him, he was eating a banana.
Ali: Okay...?
Caroline: It was like a cartoon character eating a banana. I was like, is this really happening right now?

2 years ago | Tags: falafelafel food for thought TV shows | Notes: 1

2 years ago | Tags: sponges yes that is a tag questioning life narrator dialogue

Caroline: You know how when you buy a sponge? and it's dry but it's not hard? and then you use it, but when it dries again, it's hard? ... Why does that happen?
Ali: Umm... because I guess... the water molecules change it? because it's never touched water before? ... Like paper.
Caroline: ... Okay. *accepts it and goes on with life*

2 years ago | Tags: whiny babies potential lesbians except not let's talk about the future we're never gonna be proposed to long pause crazies | Notes: 4

Ali: UGHHH I just need to get all this CRAZY out!... *whines* Caroline... how am I EVER gonna get married?
Caroline: Sweetie, you're 19.
Ali: Yeah, but I'm gonna be this crazy when I'm 30, too!
Caroline: And your husband is probably going to be worse.
Ali: *whines more*
Caroline: I would marry you! If we were lesbians. I mean, if we were lesbians, would you marry me?
Ali: No, I'm sorry, I would not.
Caroline: Even if we were lesbians, you wouldn't marry me?
Ali: No, and I'm being completely honest with you.
Caroline: What?? Why not?? You wouldn't marry me if we were lesbians??
Ali: Caroline, you're my best friend! I can't imagine marrying you! Just... no!
Caroline: You have broken my heart. My heart is broken. *long pause* Thing is, you're not even trying to backpedal. You're being straight-up with me. Whatever. *another long pause* How am I ever gonna get married if my best friend won't even marry me if she were a lesbian?